Imagine my surprise when I opened the mail yesterday and found another mailing from Nielson, this time containing a booklet for recording a week's worth of television viewing -- and $30! Amazing! I was so appreciative, I immediately filled out the whole week's television viewing in advance (nothing! nada! zilch!) and used the "additional comments" field to reiterate that while I still don't/can't watch television, I am only too happy to keep taking their free money.

Spurred on by all the nostalgic homages that were incorporated into the recent movie, I began re-watching episodes of the original television series of The Incredible Hulk. Thankfully, Netflix has pretty much the entire series available in its "Watch Instantly" section. I started off naturally with the pilot movie, which was excellent and really whet my appetite for more. I consulted a few fan sites that had synopses and reviews so that I could stick to only the best and most noteworthy episodes and avoid any of the lower moments that might sour the series' appeal.

Early on in my enjoyable survey of the show I had an interesting realization. I remember that as a kid, I thought it would be so cool to be the Hulk. Anyone bothers you? Rarr! Smash! However, re-watching these as an adult, I became transfixed by Bill Bixby's performance; his turn as David Banner is so completely genuine, sympathetic, sad and compelling that he truly conveys the curse that is his lot to suffer. I found myself rooting for him not to change (unless his life was threatened, of course). I wanted him to find his cure.

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Acting is lying. It is the ability to convincingly enact a fabrication. As such, you might imagine that playing the part of a practiced liar would be an easy task for any actor. But we all know that some actors play deceivers better than others.

Was it just coincidence that everything just kept leading back to Andrew J. Robinson?

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Real blogging will resume shortly. In the interim, we answer the burning question... what would I look like if I lived in Springfield?

(Make your own Groening-inspired avatar here.)

I have to tell you about this, because if you are a Transformers fan like me, you will agree that this is awesome. A short while ago, the mailman delivered to me this boxset, put out by Madman Entertainment of Australia. It is the Transformers: Complete Collection, presenting all four seasons of the original USA cartoon in one 17-disc collection. Not only is it awesome to own all of these in one compact set, but the packaging itself is, in my opinion, quite possibly the coolest packaging of any Transformers item ever. Madman has shown a level of dedication and furious Transformers excitement that easily trumps the US releases.

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We got rid of cable/broadcast television because its temptation sucked up too many hours of our days and nights, and we don't regret it even a little. Of course, this is not to say that we don't continue to watch programs, we just do it in a more controlled, elective fashion via Netflix and our local independent video store. Still, it should come as no surprise that I prefer to get my boob tube fix in shorter bursts, say, about 21 minutes or so. This is a grossly long-winded way of saying that I prefer to enjoy a relaxing episode of Justice League or M*A*S*H rather than lose an entire hour or two to such sedentary, non-interactive entertainment.

Alas, I grow worried when I see the end of viable episodic viewing in sight. I am currently in the middle of the 11th and final season of M*A*S*H — something I could not have accomplished but for the ability to shut off the laugh track on the DVD, thus completely transforming the show. Though I eagerly anticipate watching the legendary final episode (I've never seen it), I have no clue what to replace it with. None. How do you replace M*A*S*H...? (And don't say AfterMASH.)

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It's true that Dollface and I no longer have cable, but we still have a television and enjoy watching DVDs. The subtle difference is that this means we don't watch anything that we haven't proactively sought and acquired via purchase, rental or Netflix. Like a person that learns to eat smaller meals, our already slackening appetite for what was once so aptly-named The Idiot Box has continued to diminish, and we watch less 'television' than ever. That's why it's so awesome that one of our primary forms of entertainment has become The Documentary. And I have to tell you, it's true that fact is often far more amazing than fiction.

The primary diet of our docu-appetite is comprised of nature documentaries. The Blue Planet has to be one of the most earth-shatteringly amazing subjects ever put to film. From plankton to coral reefs, sharks to seals, crabs to the Blue Whale, it's astonishing. And then, of course, there's the hydrothermal vents. If you don't know yet about these things, with their chemosynthetic ecosystem that is possibly the origin point of all life on Earth, you should really check it the fuck out. There were so many times that Dollface and I paused the program just to gawk and ask each other, "Did you know about this? Why isn't the whole world talking about this?"

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Two days ago, I got rid of TV. Here's why.

The only person who has ever accused me of watching too much television is myself. I have long lamented that the majority of people in our society do not read books, or listen to music appreciatively (that is, as anything other than for booty-shaking or head-banging), or do anything creative or anything to better themselves as people. Instead, people watch television. It's convenient. It's effortless. And it is rarely edifying. Number of hours per day that TV is on in an average U.S. home: 6 hours, 47 minutes.

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