Botch the Crab babbles about Transformers and life in New York City. He's very funny and kind of mean. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com Decepticon jets are great, but because they're supposed to be airborne, they're not as fun to send rolling across your kitchen floor. Kind of dispels the illusion, doesn't it? Decepticon cars, though... You can send those evil warriors careening across hardwood floors into cats and babies and ankles, immersed in the wheeled malevolence, cackling all the way. When the Stunticons were introduced in the cartoon as the Decepticons' response to Autobot road mastery, I loved it. More Decepticons is always a good thing, and 'Cons that intentionally collide into the likes of Jazz or Sideswipe are even better. And then, when they transform and merge into one giant super warrior... Decepti-Bliss. And now we have greatly improved box art for all of them! http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=617 Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:17:01 GMT The improved box art for Slingshot was edited and repaired by Vito Adesso (visiting all the way from Italy) and was scanned from the Japanese laserdisc box set scans. Thanks, Vito! http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=616 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 13:52:01 GMT We needed a dessert to follow the crustaceans at last week's drunken crab-fest. Something with a little Truth, some Justice, and maybe a touch of The American Way. This looks like a job... for Superman Cake! http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=615 Sun, 04 Jul 2010 16:20:01 GMT The latest improved piece for the Archive was a Japanese-exclusive character from the Masterforce era, the Autobot flag-bearer God Ginrai, the ultimate form of Ginrai when combined with and enhanced by his drone, Godbomber. This art comes entirely from Jeremy Barlow of Soundwave's Oblivion. Sweet, eh? http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=614 Sat, 03 Jul 2010 03:12:01 GMT I cannot recall how my association with Botch the Crab began. As far back as March 1999 he had taken over this website and my online persona with his caustic wit and salty charms. But I cannot recall his invention. I never had an special interest in crabs growing up. When Botch comes up in conversation, the first thing people usually ask is, "Are you a Cancer?" To which I respond along the lines of, "Oh, definitely. Astrologically, too." Unsurprisingly, I've never given a shit about horoscopes and constellations. Nonetheless, I do feel a certain kinship with crabs. I like to armor myself against the world. I like leading with my claws. When given two choices as an ultimatum, I'll often move crabwise to the side instead. And crabs just look cool. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=613 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:34:01 GMT Cosmos travels through the rarefied upper atmosphere of our apartment. It's a special privilege few of my Transformers enjoy. Heather thinks Cosmos is cute for several reasons. His "flying saucer" mode is so woefully outdated and antiquarian that it cannot help but make you feel sympathy for the little guy. He's tiny -- palm-sized, really -- and colored so non-threateningly. Without ever reading his tech spec, Heather said, "He just seems lonely." Of course, that's exactly what he is: lonely. Isolated. Exiled. So Cosmos moves from atop door moldings to windowsills to desks to bookcases. As of this moment he's currently docked on Fortress Maximus' landing pad, but that's only temporary. He'll be back peering down on us from a doorway molding by next week. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=612 Mon, 21 Jun 2010 23:48:01 GMT I'm trying to finish my will. I'm not dying or anything, I just figured it would be a smart and easy thing to get out of the way. The basics are simple: cremate me, and all my money and possessions go to my wife, Heather. The unexpected difficulty I'm running into is the whole "if my wife does not survive me" part. We're blissfully childless, and I'm not especially close to my family. Who gets my money and stuff? http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=611 Sat, 19 Jun 2010 12:01:01 GMT Transforming robots are awesome; dinosaurs are awesome; thus, transforming robot dinosaurs was a doubly awesome inevitability. THE DINOBOTS! And now we have greatly improved box art for all five warriors. Let's take a little tour through the ancient past and show off this formidable quintet. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=610 Sun, 13 Jun 2010 20:39:01 GMT